A dead dog lies in the middle of the stage. A large garden fork is sticking out of its side. Christopher Boone, fifteen years old, stands on one side of it. His forty-two-year-old neighbour Mrs Shears stands on the other. They stand for a while without saying anything. The rest of the company watch, waiting to see who is going to dare to speak first. Mrs Shears What in Christ's name have you done to my dog? Christopher is frozen to the spot. Mrs Shears
Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh Christ. Christopher's teacher, twenty-seven-year-old Siobhan opens Christopher's book. She reads from it. Siobhan
It was seven minutes after midnight. The dog was lying on the grass in the middle of the lawn in front of Mrs Shears' house. Mrs Shears Get away from my dog. Siobhan Its eyes were closed. It looked as if it was running on its side, the way dogs run when they think they are chasing a cat in a dream. But the dog was not running or asleep. The dog was dead. Mrs Shears Get away from my dog. Siobhan There was a garden fork sticking out of the dog. The dog was called Wellington. It belonged to Mrs Shears who was our friend. She lived on the opposite side of the road, two houses to the left. Mrs Shears Get away from my dog. Christopher takes two steps away from the dog: Siobhan
My name is Christopher John Francis Boone. I know all the countries of the world and the capital cities. And every prime number up to 7507. Mrs Shears
Get away from my dog, for Christ’s sake. Christopher puts his hands over his ears. He closes his eyes. He rolls forward. He presses his forehead on to the grass. He starts groaning. Siobhan
After twelve and a half minutes a policeman arrived. He had a big orange leaf stuck to the bottom of his shoe which was poking out from one side. This is good, Christopher. It’s quite exciting. I like the details. They make it more realistic. A Policeman enters. He has a big orange leaf stuck to the bottom of his shoe, which is poking out to one side. He squats next to Christopher. Siobhan He squatted down next to me. He said to me: Policeman One Would you like to tell me what’s going on here, young man? Christopher stops groaning. There is some time. Christopher lifts his head from the ground. There is some time. Christopher looks at the Policeman. There is some time. Siobhan I do not tell lies. Mother used to say that this was because I was a good person. But it is not because I am a good person. It is because I can’t tell lies. Christopher The dog is dead. Policeman One I’d got that far. Christopher I think someone killed the dog. Policeman One How old are you? Christopher I’m fifteen years and three months and two days. Policeman One And what precisely are you doing in the garden? Christopher I’m talking to you. Policeman One
Why were you in the garden in the first place? Christopher I could see Wellington in the garden, it looked like someone tried to plant him. Policeman One Did you try to plant the dog? Christopher No, I did not. I like dogs. Policeman One Did you kill the dog? Christopher I did not kill the dog. Policeman One Is this your fork? Christopher No.