Half the house is haunted, Robin. Don't ask me which half! Don't you ever ask that again! I'll tell Mommy about the rat if you do. You think I won't, little brother? Didn't I tell Daddy about the fight? Didn't I tell him you roughed up that ninny at school? I didn't leave any of it out, either. Nope. The way you moved that ninny's nose. The way you made him sob. So don't fiddle with me, Robin! And don't you dare demand. Half the house is haunted, I say, and so haunted half the house is!
Stephanie is trying to scare me again. It's all she does. Daddy says it's getting worse. He said that very thing at dinner. He said, Stephanie is so hard on Robin. She is! Mommy asked for an example. Daddy didn’t have one and I was too scared to raise my hand. I could have told them she used to hide under the bed. I could have told them how later she placed that dead kid under the bed, dressed as her, so that I thought it was Stephanie down there. Then the real Stephanie leapt from out of the closet. She laughed so hard it made her look different. Then she demanded I help bury the kid again in the East Kent cemetery. I refused and she told me it was phony anyway and then she told Daddy about the fight I got in at school. I fight a lot at school. And I’m darn good at it too! If Stephanie isn’t careful, I’m gonna fight her next. But what if what she says is true? What if half the house is haunted? And what if she knows which half? What would I do without her?
You always think in such simple terms, Robin. You’re such a simpleton. Do you know that word? You should. You are that word. You hear “half” and you say front or back, side or side. You don’t even consider top or bottom. You don’t consider it’s every other step. Follow me. Right now, dammit. This step? Maybe haunted. This step? Maybe not. What’s wrong? Are you really leaving me up here alone? Are you really going to run downstairs where there’s nobody, when that might be the haunted half? Oh, Robin. You are much too simple for a puzzle like this. You think in lines. I think in depth. Yes, in depth. Maybe it’s the outline of the house that’s haunted and not the inner house, you see? Maybe you should find the center of the house and wait there while the haunting goes on, for the rest of your life, wait in the center of the house, Robin, where it might be safe, and...and it might not!
Stephanie is so terrible! She leads me around the house like a little dog. Mommy and Daddy are off doctoring and Stephanie is supposed to take care of me. I can take care of myself! Just not in every way. I can’t make lunch, I know. I’m not allowed to use the stove. The oven is so big, Stephanie and me could squeeze inside together. The cupboards are too high. Even Stephanie steps on chairs to get the oatmeal down. I can get up on my bed, of course, but Stephanie has made me so scared I don’t even want to take a nap. She tells me my bedroom might be part of the haunted half. I ask her if it is. Does she know? She won’t tell! She’s terrible. All she wants to do is scare me. That’s all!