# Read the first page of A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole Read the opening of A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole free, no signup. A pompous misfit's chaotic misadventures upend working-class New Orleans. - Page: https://uncovered.ink/read/a-confederacy-of-dunces-john-kennedy-toole - Genre: Comic fiction - Year: 1980 - ISBN: 9780807130087 - Read it blind (cover and title hidden): https://uncovered.ink/?b=9780807130087&s=read-page - Buy: https://bookshop.org/a/125786/9780807130087 - Borrow: https://search.worldcat.org/search?q=9780807130087 ## The opening A green hunting cap squeezed the top of the fleshy balloon of a head. The green earflaps, full of large ears and uncut hair and the fine bristles that grew in the ears themselves, stuck out on either side like turn signals indicating two directions at once. Full, pursed lips protruded beneath the bushy black moustache and, at their corners, sank into little folds filled with disapproval and potato chip crumbs. In the shadow under the green visor of the cap Ignatius J. Reilly's supercilious blue and yellow eyes looked down upon the other people waiting under the clock at the D. H. Holmes department store, studying the crowd of people for signs of bad taste in dress. Several of the outfits, Ignatius noticed, were new enough and expensive enough to be properly considered offenses against taste and decency. de- cency. Possession of anything new or expensive only reflected a person's lack of theology and geom- etry; it could even cast doubts upon one's soul. Ignatius himself was dressed comfortably and sensibly. The hunting cap prevented head colds. The voluminous tweed trousers were durable and permitted unusually free locomotion. Their pleats and nooks contained pockets of warm, stale air that soothed Ignatius. The plaid flannel shirt made a jacket unnecessary while the muffler guarded ex- posed Reilly skin between earflap and collar. The outfit was acceptable by any theological and geo- metrical standards, however abstruse, and sug- gested a rich inner life. Shifting from one hip to the other in his lum- bering, elephantine fashion, Ignatius sent waves of flesh rippling beneath the tweed and flannel, waves that broke upon buttons and seams. Thus rear- ranged, he contemplated the long while that he had been waiting for his mother. Principally he con- sidered the discomfort he was beginning to feel. It seemed as if his whole being was ready to burst from his swollen suede desert boots, and, as if to verify this, Ignatius turned his singular eyes toward his feet. The feet did indeed look swollen. He was prepared to offer the sight of those bulging boots to his mother as evidence of her thoughtlessness. Looking up, he saw the sun beginning to descend over the Mississippi at the foot of Canal Street. The Holmes clock said almost five. Already he was pol- ishing a few carefully worded accusations designed Copyrighted ma to reduce his mother to repentance or, at least, con- fusion. He often had to keep her in her place. She had driven him downtown in the old Ply- mouth, and while she was at the doctor's seeing about her arthritis, Ignatius had bought some sheet music at Werlein's for his trumpet and a new string for his lute. Then he had wandered into the Penny Arcade on Royal Street to see whether any new games had been installed. He had been disap- pointed to find the miniature mechanical baseball game gone. Perhaps it was only being repaired. The last time that he had played it the batter would not work and, after some argument, the manage- ment had returned his nickel, even though the Penny Arcade people had been base enough to suggest that Ignatius had himself broken the base- ball machine by kicking it. Concentrating upon the fate of the miniature baseball machine, Ignatius detached his being from the physical reality of Canal Street and the people around him and therefore did not notice the two eyes that were hungrily watching him from behind one of D. H. Holmes' pillars, two sad eyes shining with hope and desire. Was it possible to repair the machine in New Or- leans? ## Books with a similar feel - [The British Columbia Court of Appeal by Christopher Moore](https://uncovered.ink/read/the-british-columbia-court-of-appeal-christopher-moore.md) - [Skink--No Surrender by Carl Hiaasen](https://uncovered.ink/read/skink-no-surrender-carl-hiaasen.md) - [The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde](https://uncovered.ink/read/the-eyre-affair-jasper-fforde.md) - [Emma by Jane Austen](https://uncovered.ink/read/emma-jane-austen.md) - [The Prophet and the Idiot by Jonas Jonasson](https://uncovered.ink/read/the-prophet-and-the-idiot-jonas-jonasson.md) - [The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain](https://uncovered.ink/read/the-adventures-of-huckleberry-finn-mark-twain.md) --- Source: Uncovered (https://uncovered.ink). A short sample shown for reading and discovery. Rights holders can request removal at https://uncovered.ink/takedown.